Losing Jane
by DrKCooper
Summary: A missing scene following the infamous Thai massage in "Tears of a Clown" (4x13).


_Disclaimer: All recognizable _Rizzoli & Isles_ characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to Tess Gerritsen. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: This is a missing scene that takes place after the now infamous Thai massage in 4x13 ("Tears of a Clown"). -dkc_

**Losing Jane**

Jane and Maura were sitting on the couch drinking the champagne Casey had left, reveling in the relaxed feeling from their Thai massage.

"What do you think my path is?" Jane spoke more into her glass than to the woman next to her.

"Jane, I didn't mean..." Maura tried to walk back what she had said earlier.

"You never speak without considering your every word. What did you mean?" Jane insisted on an explanation.

"You're a talented detective," Maura said.

"So, my path is to remain on the force," the detective finally made eye contact with the doctor.

"I don't know," Maura murmured.

They sat in silence for several moments, each lost in their own thoughts, sipping their champagne.

"Have you sacrificed personal happiness for professional happiness?" Jane asked.

"I'm happy," Maura countered.

"But you're single, childless," Jane's words were not intended to be painful.

"I have a job I love. I have friends around me everyday. Does having a spouse and children mean more than those things?" Maura asked.

Jane was now fidgeting with her yoga pants and avoiding answering Maura. The truth was she also had a job she loved and friends and family around her. Would being married make her life complete?

Maura shook her head and continued tracing the stem of her champagne flute with a single finger.

"Maur..." Jane tried again.

The detective knew that her best friend had a tight rein on her emotions and that moment in the crime lab was uncharacteristic of the doctor. Maura never let tears surface at work. She also never had to walk away from Jane to keep those tears in. That is until the reality of what was happening with Jane and Casey truly set in, symbolized by the diamond Jane had on her finger earlier.

"You aren't losing me," Jane assured, though this made Maura let out a cynical chuckle.

"We have to talk about this," Jane pressed.

"No," Maura finally looked at Jane. "We can talk about mint juleps, the quality of diamonds, what to pack, but no, we can't talk about this."

The deep pain in Maura's tone was unavoidable. She couldn't imagine her life without Jane. She couldn't imagine Casey ever making Jane happy or her friend ever being content doing anything other than police work.

"If you told me to stay, I'd stay," Jane's confession immediately brought tears to Maura's eyes.

There was a long moment between them now as Maura considered doing just that, but battled internally with how selfish and unfair that would be.

"I can't," Maura choked back a sob.

Jane's took Maura's glass and then held the delicate hands in her own.

"I hate to see you like this," Jane's anguish was written on her face.

"It will ease," Maura hoped.

"But should it have to?" Jane's voice was now low and gravelly.

There was too much unsaid between these women for Maura to know precisely what Jane meant. Their closeness, however, allowed for Jane to easily read the confusion in her best friend's features.

"If there were a sliver of a chance..." Jane whispered.

"Of what?" Maura's heart was racing.

"That you and I..." Jane's voice trailed off.

Maura's hand broke free of Jane's grip and traveled up to her bicep. Her grip was firm as if she were bracing for something difficult.

"There has always been a chance, Jane."

Surprised at the relief that washed over her, Jane leaned forward to press her lips gently to Maura's. The kiss was tentative. When one of Jane's hands reached up to cup Maura's cheek, it was obvious that she was trembling. When the kiss ended, both women had tears running down their cheeks.

"Does Casey know?" Maura said without considering the weight of what she was asking so soon after their lips parted.

"He knew you would be here tonight," Jane nodded toward the champagne bottle.

Maura leaned back against the arm of the couch and stared at her glass. She was lost in her own head trying to determine what she wanted and what she could realistically ask from Jane.

"I'm your best friend," Maura attempted to write off Casey's foreknowledge of her arrival tonight.

"Maura…" Jane wasn't letting her off the hook so easily.

"Will you regret it tomorrow?" Maura raised an eyebrow at Jane. "The kiss."

"No," Jane didn't hesitate. "Will you?"

"Nothing I could ever regret would compare to the regret of losing you," Maura's tone was thick with emotion and sincerity.

Leaning forward, her hands now pressed into the couch to the sides of Maura's thighs, Jane once again pressed her lips to those of her best friend. Their second kiss was as gentle as the first, but nothing resembling chaste. Jane's tongue traced Maura's bottom lip until the doctor's lips parted. Tongues circled in a delicate exploration. This kiss broke when both women were at a loss for air. Their faces did not part as the kiss did, however. Foreheads pressed together, both women clung to the moment.

"Tell me you love me," Jane rasped.

"What?" Maura's heart beat rapidly.

"I want to hear how it sounds?" Jane didn't elaborate.

There was a beat of silence, a silence that worried Maura. They both hung on each word as it exited Maura's mouth.

"I love you, Jane," the doctor whispered.

Jane smiled and didn't battle the lone tear that fell down her cheek. One hand reached up to cup Maura's face, wiping a few loose strands of dark blonde hair out of the way.

"How did it sound?" Maura finally spoke.

"Like it should."

Jane allowed a few more tears to escape as she continued to hold Maura like this, their mouths but millimeters away.

There was nothing foreign in the sound of Maura speaking something so profound and yet so expected. No, Maura wouldn't be losing Jane. Not today.

-_finis_-


End file.
